Give it a Rest Already!

Recent conversations with friends of mine have brought me to the conclusion that we need to give ourselves a break. On a daily basis it seems, we break ourselves down and pick ourselves apart, for what I'm not quite sure.

It is human nature to judge and criticize but I tend to believe that with a little time and effort that criticism can be turned into motivation and that judgement can be replaced with encouragement. Encouragement and motivation for yourself, to reach your goals and to push past your boundaries.

Life is at times difficult and completely unpredictable. However, if you let every little "flaw" slow you down and change the view that you have of yourself, you're never going to get to where you should be and where you should be, where we all should be is moving forward through this beautiful struggle that is our life.

Glass Walls

That expression "You can't see the forest for the trees" comes to mind when I start to think about things before.  My life, and who I was before. "You can't see the forest for the trees". I'd like to say that's how it was. I'd like to say that I didn't see it happening, that I was unable to see the slow collapse of my own life, but I did. I did see it, I just didn't know how to stop it. The thing that had been my comfort, my escape, my protection from the real world had in one fell swoop thrown me off the edge with no safety net and it hurt like hell when I hit the bottom. I read somewhere that you don't appreciate what you have until its taken away. I, thankfully, didn't have everything taken away. I did however have it all slip far enough away that I almost couldn't reach it so I feel like I can say I understand that expression now and I wholeheartedly agree. To say that I was irresponsible would be an understatement. However, the real issue here is how ungrateful I was when I made the decision that brought me to the place that no one wants to go to, a place where I was grasping for everything that I loved and praying that I'd be able to hold on. It became very apparent that I needed to remove myself from what I had considered my comfort zone. Once outside of it though, I found myself feeling lost and a bit confused.  I didn't quite know where I belonged or who I was supposed to be. This, however was temporary and as it turns out the thing that gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of security, my identity, was in fact, the one thing that was threatening to take it all away. Once it was gone it took some time to fully see, but there I was. There I was, and when I looked around, there were the people that I cared about. Apparently they'd been there the whole time, telling me the harsh truths but I couldn't hear it, waiting for me to grab their hand but I couldn't reach it, and loving me unconditionally but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel any of it until I stepped outside of the glass walls.

100 Days of Change

I'm sure that everyone has heard of 100 days of happy.  Well, this is my version of that with a little twist.  Instead of 100 days of things that make me happy, this is going to be the start of 100 days of me making changes. 

Whether they are big or small, I have things that I want to change about myself or about my life, we all do.  Relationships, bad habits, career paths, the list is never ending, but whether it's a simple lifestyle change or a life changing choice, it's not going to happen on it's own.  I have to take the first step, make the first move, put in the effort to make these changes happen.  Daily habits don't take root overnight, so when it comes to things like diet and exercise, I don't expect immediate results.  The same goes with a major decision like going back to school, changing my career path or even moving to a new place.  I can decide to do it, but it's not going to happen overnight so I have to have patience with myself and with life in general.  Slow progress is still progress. 

I have so many things that I want to change, that when the 100 days are over I probably won't be finished, but the process will have begun.  The ball will be rolling.  Each day I will come here and write all about the "change of the day" and each day that passes I hope to see a difference in myself and my life.  Each day I hope to create good habits, make better choices and when all is said and done be healthier and happier because really, isn't that the point. 

Tomorrow will be day 1, let's see how this goes...

~KG

Waiting for what?

I usually only end my posts with a quote but I'm going to start with one as well. 

"Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life.  Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you're in now."

After reading that it got me thinking and here's what I think.  We wait for the weekend.  We wait for the summer.  We wait until we fall in love or until we are more financially stable.  It seems like we are always waiting for something to make us happy.  Waiting for a someone to come into or something to happen in our lives before we allow ourselves to be happy.  Well, while we are waiting on all of these things, for these moments to occur, time goes on. The minutes, hours and days go by.  While we are waiting, life is happening and little moments of happiness are being overlooked and opportunities are being missed.

In the fast paced, let me check my schedule, I don't have time world that we live in, we crave and search for happiness when in reality we already have it.  Our focus is placed on so many different things at any given moment that we don't recognize the happiness of and in those moments.  When we laugh at a co-workers joke, happiness.  When we get a text or a phone call from someone and it brings a smile to our face, happiness.  When we take a moment to step outside on a nice day, to curl up with a good book or to simply sit and do nothing, there's happiness there.  It's not always the grand gestures, award winning moments or invitation worthy events that bring us our joy.  More often than not it's the simplest of things that mean the most and feel the greatest yet we tend to overlook them and focus on bigger things.  The big things are not the most important part of the bigger picture, it's the little things that mean the most in our lives. 

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”~ Robert Brault   ~KG

K.I.T.

Keep in touch otherwise know as K.I.T.  There isn't a yearbook around that doesn't have this scattered throughout its pages.  A standard when signing someone's yearbook, the sentiment was most likely genuine but the follow through was typically non existent.  At an age when we had more free time than anything else, we somehow always managed to never keep in touch.  Even as we hugged goodbye and wrote our numbers down next to the obligatory "call me over the summer", we knew we weren't going to stay in contact and we really didn't know or have a reason why.  As an adult we still have that genuine desire to stay in contact with our family and friends, but now we have reasons for why we don't.  The reasons or in most cases excuses are too long to list.  Of course work and family are our priorities but what else is there that keeps us from making an effort with those that we care about.  The reality of it is, it doesn't take much time to check in with someone every once in awhile.  I'm not talking about a one liner on Facebook or a quick IM via email, I'm talking about a real conversation in person or at the very least on the phone, and yes texting counts (I'm not a phone person).   I used to be one of those "I've been busy"  "I'll find time later" people.  Lately though I'm making a conscious effort to reach out to those that I've lost touch with as well as those that I haven't.  I've realized that I was so "busy" that I was missing out on one of the greatest things in my life, my friendships.  Without our friends and family, both of which can be completely interchangeable, what's the point of everything else.  The stresses of life are much easier to bear when you have a good support system, but you can't have that if you don't make an effort to build and maintain one.

They say that life is short and you have to cherish those around you while you have them, but I think life is quite long we just don't use the time that we're given appropriately.  Jobs come and go, bills will sit until their paid but people are only here for a certain period of time and we have no idea how long that will actually be.  I don't know about you but I'd rather regret the late fee on a bill than a missed opportunity to spend time with or reach out to someone that I care about.

Make a conscious effort to keep in touch with the people in your life.  Whether it be a note in the mail, a text or a lunch date that is way overdue, just take a moment to do something to let them know that you're thinking of them.  They might not return the favor but at least you made the effort.  Who knows you might end up with a better friendship than you had before, and if nothing else the "I wonder how they're doing" will have been answered.

“Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time” ~ Victor Hugo

XO ~KG

Table for 1?

Growing up I had a clear picture of my future.  My milestones were marked by nothing more than age with the most important, marriage, being hit by age 25. Now I was engaged at 21 so I was well on my way to hitting my mark, needless to say that didn't work out but I didn't lose hope.  Of course this changed when I hit 25 and I realized that I was far from where I thought I would be in regards to life AND relationship status.  When my 25th rolled around, I had been dating my then boyfriend for all of a month and half.  Leading up to the birthday I was fine but on the day itself, I was a wreck.  A wreck that my new boyfriend had to see, tears and all.  He being only six months younger, was in the same boat but unlike me, he didn't think his was sinking.  As we sat at Olive Garden that night I made a valiant attempt to enjoy the nice dinner and evening that he had so sweetly planned but in the back of my mind and in a bit of our conversation my disappointment and fear was there, rearing it's ugly head and it had no intention of leaving.  He very sweetly tried to reassure me that 25 wasn't old and that everything was going to work out the way that it was supposed to but I wasn't hearing it.  Happy birthday to me!  My birthday passed and surprisingly he didn't run for the hills.  Instead, he did the complete opposite and we ended up staying together quite awhile.  Of course being together for as long as we were there was the inevitable talk of marriage but despite my birthday induced emotional breakdown not once in our relationship did I feel the need to run to the altar, not because I didn't want to marry him, but because I didn't feel the need to rush it.  This ended up being a great decision since we eventually grew apart and finally split two and half years later.  After that it was single fun time.  I wasn't tied down anymore and I didn't want to be, at least not for awhile.  I had started a new job earlier that year and my focus was no longer on him and us but on me and my life. I'd had what you might call a change of heart, no more like I had found the brake pedal and was slowing my roll to the altar.

Through the years since then I've been to and been apart of many bridal showers, weddings, baby showers and kids birthdays.  I've never been one to get upset or be all woe is me when a friend announces their engagement, and when I get an invitation in the mail for baby shower or child's birthday, I'm not throwing a pity party before heading to their party.  I will admit there's been a few instances, more so in my 20's, that I asked myself when was it going to be me but for the most part I've had a genuine feeling of happiness and excitement for them and their joyous occasions. 

Now being 32 and for the most part single since my 25th birthday boyfriend and I broke up almost 5 years ago, I'm even less in the I need to get married mindset.  I am perfectly fine alone. I have a good job, a nice home and the best friends and family a person could ask for.  This is not to say that I don't want a boyfriend, because I do, I have the online dating accounts to prove it, but I'm not in a rush to settle down with someone that I'd simply be settling for.  I recently read in Cosmo, that marriage has never happened this late or been this infrequent in the history of the country.  The article also said that women are more inclined to wait to get married after they get the rest of their life in order.  This tells me that I am not alone in my unmarried status or in my reasoning for being so.  I realize that most people are already married off or are on their way, I have the memories, photos and invitations to prove it, but there are still people like me that haven't made their way to that place yet.  The statement to each his own comes to mind when thinking about or discussing this topic.  To each his own, well his or her own. 

What it comes down to it being single isn't a bad thing.  Whether you're young and dumb at 21, simply misguided at 25 or finding your own way at 32, there is no right time to settle down. Find yourself before you worry about finding someone else and remember that it's not about the when, it's about the who. 

"We don’t need to rush things, if something’s bound to happen, it will happen…in the RIGHT time with the RIGHT person and with the BEST REASON"~unknown



~KG

Where's the motivation?

To workout or not to workout, that is the question.  The question that I and I'm sure many others, girls AND guys, ask ourselves every day.  We all want to be healthy but do we all want to do what it takes to get and stay that way?  We all want, well most of us want to look good not only in our bikinis in the summer but also our skinny jeans in the winter, but the effort required to do so seems to be more than we're willing to put in.  They say that exercise lowers your stress levels and makes you feel good which should have people running to put on their tennis shoes but the fact is it's not. I mean who doesn't want to be less stressed, and I know we all like things that make us feel good, but it seems that we'd rather take the path of least resistance aka the path of laziness than to partake in a little sweat session.  So instead of driving to the gym and enjoying that natural high that comes from working out, we opt to drive to our chosen fast food joint and enjoy that combo meal that comes with the option to biggie size it.  Good health is a driving force.  Money is an even bigger one, but neither seem to be big enough to push the masses into the gym or even out into nature for any real length of time.  The new years resolution sell a lot of gym memberships and I'm sure that Foot Locker makes a killing when the new year starts but all that is temporary.  What does it take for people to make a true commitment to exercise?  As a person that has over the last maybe 8 years joined and quit the gym 3 times and just recently joined again, I can say that nothing and no one will get you to go except for you.  Starting a habit is just as difficult if not more so than quitting one.  You have to not only want to do it but also need to do it.  For whatever reason, whether it be for physical appearance, a way to kill time or as part of a healthier lifestyle, you have to need to do it.  When I was younger, I did it because I wanted to be thin and cute.  Clearly my want wasn't enough to keep me going.  Now, older and having seen so many around me fight battles with sickness, so many of which could have been prevented, I've decided to do what I can to try and avoid that path.  Although I am trying to become a permanent fixture in my gym, I, at times, do go back to my lazy day habits.  However, I keep the struggles of those I love at the forefront of brain to remind me of why I make the effort.

With all that being said, my suggestion to my fellow couch lovers is to find your reason to get moving.  Find it and then find your way of making it happen.  It doesn't have to be in a gym, mother nature has the ability to kick your butt just as well as the elliptical and it's FREE!  Find the place, make the time, put your shoes on and get moving.  You might not like it at first, I didn't, but give it some time and I think you will. 

"Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going" ~unknown

Hugs and high  fives
~KG