Glass Walls

That expression "You can't see the forest for the trees" comes to mind when I start to think about things before.  My life, and who I was before. "You can't see the forest for the trees". I'd like to say that's how it was. I'd like to say that I didn't see it happening, that I was unable to see the slow collapse of my own life, but I did. I did see it, I just didn't know how to stop it. The thing that had been my comfort, my escape, my protection from the real world had in one fell swoop thrown me off the edge with no safety net and it hurt like hell when I hit the bottom. I read somewhere that you don't appreciate what you have until its taken away. I, thankfully, didn't have everything taken away. I did however have it all slip far enough away that I almost couldn't reach it so I feel like I can say I understand that expression now and I wholeheartedly agree. To say that I was irresponsible would be an understatement. However, the real issue here is how ungrateful I was when I made the decision that brought me to the place that no one wants to go to, a place where I was grasping for everything that I loved and praying that I'd be able to hold on. It became very apparent that I needed to remove myself from what I had considered my comfort zone. Once outside of it though, I found myself feeling lost and a bit confused.  I didn't quite know where I belonged or who I was supposed to be. This, however was temporary and as it turns out the thing that gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of security, my identity, was in fact, the one thing that was threatening to take it all away. Once it was gone it took some time to fully see, but there I was. There I was, and when I looked around, there were the people that I cared about. Apparently they'd been there the whole time, telling me the harsh truths but I couldn't hear it, waiting for me to grab their hand but I couldn't reach it, and loving me unconditionally but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel any of it until I stepped outside of the glass walls.

K.I.T.

Keep in touch otherwise know as K.I.T.  There isn't a yearbook around that doesn't have this scattered throughout its pages.  A standard when signing someone's yearbook, the sentiment was most likely genuine but the follow through was typically non existent.  At an age when we had more free time than anything else, we somehow always managed to never keep in touch.  Even as we hugged goodbye and wrote our numbers down next to the obligatory "call me over the summer", we knew we weren't going to stay in contact and we really didn't know or have a reason why.  As an adult we still have that genuine desire to stay in contact with our family and friends, but now we have reasons for why we don't.  The reasons or in most cases excuses are too long to list.  Of course work and family are our priorities but what else is there that keeps us from making an effort with those that we care about.  The reality of it is, it doesn't take much time to check in with someone every once in awhile.  I'm not talking about a one liner on Facebook or a quick IM via email, I'm talking about a real conversation in person or at the very least on the phone, and yes texting counts (I'm not a phone person).   I used to be one of those "I've been busy"  "I'll find time later" people.  Lately though I'm making a conscious effort to reach out to those that I've lost touch with as well as those that I haven't.  I've realized that I was so "busy" that I was missing out on one of the greatest things in my life, my friendships.  Without our friends and family, both of which can be completely interchangeable, what's the point of everything else.  The stresses of life are much easier to bear when you have a good support system, but you can't have that if you don't make an effort to build and maintain one.

They say that life is short and you have to cherish those around you while you have them, but I think life is quite long we just don't use the time that we're given appropriately.  Jobs come and go, bills will sit until their paid but people are only here for a certain period of time and we have no idea how long that will actually be.  I don't know about you but I'd rather regret the late fee on a bill than a missed opportunity to spend time with or reach out to someone that I care about.

Make a conscious effort to keep in touch with the people in your life.  Whether it be a note in the mail, a text or a lunch date that is way overdue, just take a moment to do something to let them know that you're thinking of them.  They might not return the favor but at least you made the effort.  Who knows you might end up with a better friendship than you had before, and if nothing else the "I wonder how they're doing" will have been answered.

“Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time” ~ Victor Hugo

XO ~KG