Glass Walls

That expression "You can't see the forest for the trees" comes to mind when I start to think about things before.  My life, and who I was before. "You can't see the forest for the trees". I'd like to say that's how it was. I'd like to say that I didn't see it happening, that I was unable to see the slow collapse of my own life, but I did. I did see it, I just didn't know how to stop it. The thing that had been my comfort, my escape, my protection from the real world had in one fell swoop thrown me off the edge with no safety net and it hurt like hell when I hit the bottom. I read somewhere that you don't appreciate what you have until its taken away. I, thankfully, didn't have everything taken away. I did however have it all slip far enough away that I almost couldn't reach it so I feel like I can say I understand that expression now and I wholeheartedly agree. To say that I was irresponsible would be an understatement. However, the real issue here is how ungrateful I was when I made the decision that brought me to the place that no one wants to go to, a place where I was grasping for everything that I loved and praying that I'd be able to hold on. It became very apparent that I needed to remove myself from what I had considered my comfort zone. Once outside of it though, I found myself feeling lost and a bit confused.  I didn't quite know where I belonged or who I was supposed to be. This, however was temporary and as it turns out the thing that gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of security, my identity, was in fact, the one thing that was threatening to take it all away. Once it was gone it took some time to fully see, but there I was. There I was, and when I looked around, there were the people that I cared about. Apparently they'd been there the whole time, telling me the harsh truths but I couldn't hear it, waiting for me to grab their hand but I couldn't reach it, and loving me unconditionally but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel any of it until I stepped outside of the glass walls.

100 Days of Change

I'm sure that everyone has heard of 100 days of happy.  Well, this is my version of that with a little twist.  Instead of 100 days of things that make me happy, this is going to be the start of 100 days of me making changes. 

Whether they are big or small, I have things that I want to change about myself or about my life, we all do.  Relationships, bad habits, career paths, the list is never ending, but whether it's a simple lifestyle change or a life changing choice, it's not going to happen on it's own.  I have to take the first step, make the first move, put in the effort to make these changes happen.  Daily habits don't take root overnight, so when it comes to things like diet and exercise, I don't expect immediate results.  The same goes with a major decision like going back to school, changing my career path or even moving to a new place.  I can decide to do it, but it's not going to happen overnight so I have to have patience with myself and with life in general.  Slow progress is still progress. 

I have so many things that I want to change, that when the 100 days are over I probably won't be finished, but the process will have begun.  The ball will be rolling.  Each day I will come here and write all about the "change of the day" and each day that passes I hope to see a difference in myself and my life.  Each day I hope to create good habits, make better choices and when all is said and done be healthier and happier because really, isn't that the point. 

Tomorrow will be day 1, let's see how this goes...

~KG

Where's the motivation?

To workout or not to workout, that is the question.  The question that I and I'm sure many others, girls AND guys, ask ourselves every day.  We all want to be healthy but do we all want to do what it takes to get and stay that way?  We all want, well most of us want to look good not only in our bikinis in the summer but also our skinny jeans in the winter, but the effort required to do so seems to be more than we're willing to put in.  They say that exercise lowers your stress levels and makes you feel good which should have people running to put on their tennis shoes but the fact is it's not. I mean who doesn't want to be less stressed, and I know we all like things that make us feel good, but it seems that we'd rather take the path of least resistance aka the path of laziness than to partake in a little sweat session.  So instead of driving to the gym and enjoying that natural high that comes from working out, we opt to drive to our chosen fast food joint and enjoy that combo meal that comes with the option to biggie size it.  Good health is a driving force.  Money is an even bigger one, but neither seem to be big enough to push the masses into the gym or even out into nature for any real length of time.  The new years resolution sell a lot of gym memberships and I'm sure that Foot Locker makes a killing when the new year starts but all that is temporary.  What does it take for people to make a true commitment to exercise?  As a person that has over the last maybe 8 years joined and quit the gym 3 times and just recently joined again, I can say that nothing and no one will get you to go except for you.  Starting a habit is just as difficult if not more so than quitting one.  You have to not only want to do it but also need to do it.  For whatever reason, whether it be for physical appearance, a way to kill time or as part of a healthier lifestyle, you have to need to do it.  When I was younger, I did it because I wanted to be thin and cute.  Clearly my want wasn't enough to keep me going.  Now, older and having seen so many around me fight battles with sickness, so many of which could have been prevented, I've decided to do what I can to try and avoid that path.  Although I am trying to become a permanent fixture in my gym, I, at times, do go back to my lazy day habits.  However, I keep the struggles of those I love at the forefront of brain to remind me of why I make the effort.

With all that being said, my suggestion to my fellow couch lovers is to find your reason to get moving.  Find it and then find your way of making it happen.  It doesn't have to be in a gym, mother nature has the ability to kick your butt just as well as the elliptical and it's FREE!  Find the place, make the time, put your shoes on and get moving.  You might not like it at first, I didn't, but give it some time and I think you will. 

"Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going" ~unknown

Hugs and high  fives
~KG