Cut the Ties that Bind and Simply Unsubscribe

Welcome back from the weekend! The last time I was here, I talked about how life is simple but we make it complicated.  In so many ways we create our own stress. Every day things are made to be such a huge task that eventually we either hit the delay button aka procrastinate, or we don't do it at all.  In the last week I've started focusing on the things in my day that have become a time consuming and/or stressful task.  One of the first things I found was that my personal email was a serious problem.  Looking at it you would think that I had given my email to every retailer out there, it's possible, I love a good deal.  Also, with my Facebook and Pinterest accounts dumping into it, the number of emails in my box had stopped being manageable and had started being ignored. I was aware of the situation but I just didnt have the time to deal with it. I tried the daily approach, that didn't work. I tried doing it on the weekend but by then I had amassed so much mail that I either didnt want to, it's the weekend hello, or I simply didn't have the time to go through it, there was important stuff in there too. Which brings me to last week when I had targeted the problem and began my strategy of attack.  One by one I deleted the various " here's what's new" and "end of season sale" emails from my favorite stores. I watched as my numbers slowly decreased and I could feel the weight lifting off of my shoulders but the true freedom came when as I reached each stores final email, I opened it, scrolled to the bottom and clicked UNSUBSCRIBE. Ah at last the emails were gone and now they were never coming back.

It's been days since I completed Project Email Clean Sweep, and my mailbox is clean, organized and most importantly no longer stressful.  I've also noticed that because I'm no longer getting the notifications of sales, etc. my urge to shop has died down.  Out of sight of mind I guess.  I'd say for anyone that has the same problem that I had, try it out and see if you dont feel ten times better with that little change.

Your email is like your phone number, you don't want to give to just anybody.

With that task complete, I'm on to my next one so stay tuned...

~KG

Preparation Meet Simplicity-(life is simple, people are not)

Life is crazy.  Life is stressful, right? Wrong. In fact life itself is quite simple, it's us a people who make things difficult. We live beyond our means, we inundate ourselves with useless information, we procrastinate on everything from paying bills to getting a haircut. Yes, I said a haircut and no it's on the same level as say being stranded on the side of the road but it is a stressor. Think about it, every day that you don't call and make an appointment, is one more day that you're thinking ah I need to get a haircut. A waste of energy and thought space when really all it takes is a simple phone call, appointment made and off the to-do list but better yet of your mind. The "big" things like a flat tire, stay at the forefront but it's the little things like that haircut I just mentioned, that add up, that build up and drain our energy and make those "big" things and life in general even more difficult to handle.

Vacation. That's a nice word isn't it. Everyone gets excited when they hear it. I don't know about you but I feel like a kid at Christmas when I'm planning a vacation and by planning I mean choosing a location. After that it's a one-way ticket to stress town. Travel dates have to be chosen, but wait let's check the calendar first. Then there's the question of how will you get there? What's the most beneficial time-wise? What's the most cost effective? Oh and where are you going to stay? Whats the best deal? Whats the best location? Oh and does it have a pool? Ah finally the reservations have been made, you're home free right? Wrong again. Now you have to decide right down to the last minute what you're going to do when you get there and man are you disappointed when you don't see and do everything on the list because you wanted to make the most out this vacation. Once, the questions started being asked, the fun, the relaxation, the vacation ended. Yup right then and there because like we do with everything else in life we made it complicated.  Planning ahead is one thing, a little preparation can save us a whole lot of headaches but theres a difference between planning and over-analyzing or even micro-managing a situation. WE make life crazy. WE stress ourselves out. WE are the problem but with a little healthy preparation, life can be much simpler and we can be much happier.

Stay tuned for tips and ideas on what I like to call Preparation meet Simplicity.

What's Left Behind?

Recently, and by recently I mean about 20 minutes ago, the thought passed through my mind that my time here could be over in the next 5 minutes, the next 5 years or maybe I'll stick around and see the next 50. It occurred to me how lovely that would be to see and experience that much life.  I think about all the things that my grandmother was apart of, the lives that she touched, the moments that she witnessed and the feelings that she felt along the way.  We're living longer now than so many generations before us did but we're doing so much less with our time.  Ours it seems, is spent on things, and less on people. We fill our lives and our time with more wants and less needs.   I wonder, at times, how much better off we would be if we decided to own less and have more.  More time with family, more memories with friends, more willingness to give to those that are simply grateful to make it to the next day.

Every life has the ability to be amazing and either through simple existence or with a little added effort, every life has the ability to touch and change someone else's in an extraordinary way.  Every soul, no matter how many years it has attached to it will leave behind something worthwhile as long as we focus on one another.

What we do for each other is what truly stands the test of time...we are our legacy.

~KG

Give it a Rest Already!

Recent conversations with friends of mine have brought me to the conclusion that we need to give ourselves a break. On a daily basis it seems, we break ourselves down and pick ourselves apart, for what I'm not quite sure.

It is human nature to judge and criticize but I tend to believe that with a little time and effort that criticism can be turned into motivation and that judgement can be replaced with encouragement. Encouragement and motivation for yourself, to reach your goals and to push past your boundaries.

Life is at times difficult and completely unpredictable. However, if you let every little "flaw" slow you down and change the view that you have of yourself, you're never going to get to where you should be and where you should be, where we all should be is moving forward through this beautiful struggle that is our life.

Glass Walls

That expression "You can't see the forest for the trees" comes to mind when I start to think about things before.  My life, and who I was before. "You can't see the forest for the trees". I'd like to say that's how it was. I'd like to say that I didn't see it happening, that I was unable to see the slow collapse of my own life, but I did. I did see it, I just didn't know how to stop it. The thing that had been my comfort, my escape, my protection from the real world had in one fell swoop thrown me off the edge with no safety net and it hurt like hell when I hit the bottom. I read somewhere that you don't appreciate what you have until its taken away. I, thankfully, didn't have everything taken away. I did however have it all slip far enough away that I almost couldn't reach it so I feel like I can say I understand that expression now and I wholeheartedly agree. To say that I was irresponsible would be an understatement. However, the real issue here is how ungrateful I was when I made the decision that brought me to the place that no one wants to go to, a place where I was grasping for everything that I loved and praying that I'd be able to hold on. It became very apparent that I needed to remove myself from what I had considered my comfort zone. Once outside of it though, I found myself feeling lost and a bit confused.  I didn't quite know where I belonged or who I was supposed to be. This, however was temporary and as it turns out the thing that gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of security, my identity, was in fact, the one thing that was threatening to take it all away. Once it was gone it took some time to fully see, but there I was. There I was, and when I looked around, there were the people that I cared about. Apparently they'd been there the whole time, telling me the harsh truths but I couldn't hear it, waiting for me to grab their hand but I couldn't reach it, and loving me unconditionally but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel any of it until I stepped outside of the glass walls.

100 Days of Change

I'm sure that everyone has heard of 100 days of happy.  Well, this is my version of that with a little twist.  Instead of 100 days of things that make me happy, this is going to be the start of 100 days of me making changes. 

Whether they are big or small, I have things that I want to change about myself or about my life, we all do.  Relationships, bad habits, career paths, the list is never ending, but whether it's a simple lifestyle change or a life changing choice, it's not going to happen on it's own.  I have to take the first step, make the first move, put in the effort to make these changes happen.  Daily habits don't take root overnight, so when it comes to things like diet and exercise, I don't expect immediate results.  The same goes with a major decision like going back to school, changing my career path or even moving to a new place.  I can decide to do it, but it's not going to happen overnight so I have to have patience with myself and with life in general.  Slow progress is still progress. 

I have so many things that I want to change, that when the 100 days are over I probably won't be finished, but the process will have begun.  The ball will be rolling.  Each day I will come here and write all about the "change of the day" and each day that passes I hope to see a difference in myself and my life.  Each day I hope to create good habits, make better choices and when all is said and done be healthier and happier because really, isn't that the point. 

Tomorrow will be day 1, let's see how this goes...

~KG

Waiting for what?

I usually only end my posts with a quote but I'm going to start with one as well. 

"Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life.  Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you're in now."

After reading that it got me thinking and here's what I think.  We wait for the weekend.  We wait for the summer.  We wait until we fall in love or until we are more financially stable.  It seems like we are always waiting for something to make us happy.  Waiting for a someone to come into or something to happen in our lives before we allow ourselves to be happy.  Well, while we are waiting on all of these things, for these moments to occur, time goes on. The minutes, hours and days go by.  While we are waiting, life is happening and little moments of happiness are being overlooked and opportunities are being missed.

In the fast paced, let me check my schedule, I don't have time world that we live in, we crave and search for happiness when in reality we already have it.  Our focus is placed on so many different things at any given moment that we don't recognize the happiness of and in those moments.  When we laugh at a co-workers joke, happiness.  When we get a text or a phone call from someone and it brings a smile to our face, happiness.  When we take a moment to step outside on a nice day, to curl up with a good book or to simply sit and do nothing, there's happiness there.  It's not always the grand gestures, award winning moments or invitation worthy events that bring us our joy.  More often than not it's the simplest of things that mean the most and feel the greatest yet we tend to overlook them and focus on bigger things.  The big things are not the most important part of the bigger picture, it's the little things that mean the most in our lives. 

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”~ Robert Brault   ~KG

K.I.T.

Keep in touch otherwise know as K.I.T.  There isn't a yearbook around that doesn't have this scattered throughout its pages.  A standard when signing someone's yearbook, the sentiment was most likely genuine but the follow through was typically non existent.  At an age when we had more free time than anything else, we somehow always managed to never keep in touch.  Even as we hugged goodbye and wrote our numbers down next to the obligatory "call me over the summer", we knew we weren't going to stay in contact and we really didn't know or have a reason why.  As an adult we still have that genuine desire to stay in contact with our family and friends, but now we have reasons for why we don't.  The reasons or in most cases excuses are too long to list.  Of course work and family are our priorities but what else is there that keeps us from making an effort with those that we care about.  The reality of it is, it doesn't take much time to check in with someone every once in awhile.  I'm not talking about a one liner on Facebook or a quick IM via email, I'm talking about a real conversation in person or at the very least on the phone, and yes texting counts (I'm not a phone person).   I used to be one of those "I've been busy"  "I'll find time later" people.  Lately though I'm making a conscious effort to reach out to those that I've lost touch with as well as those that I haven't.  I've realized that I was so "busy" that I was missing out on one of the greatest things in my life, my friendships.  Without our friends and family, both of which can be completely interchangeable, what's the point of everything else.  The stresses of life are much easier to bear when you have a good support system, but you can't have that if you don't make an effort to build and maintain one.

They say that life is short and you have to cherish those around you while you have them, but I think life is quite long we just don't use the time that we're given appropriately.  Jobs come and go, bills will sit until their paid but people are only here for a certain period of time and we have no idea how long that will actually be.  I don't know about you but I'd rather regret the late fee on a bill than a missed opportunity to spend time with or reach out to someone that I care about.

Make a conscious effort to keep in touch with the people in your life.  Whether it be a note in the mail, a text or a lunch date that is way overdue, just take a moment to do something to let them know that you're thinking of them.  They might not return the favor but at least you made the effort.  Who knows you might end up with a better friendship than you had before, and if nothing else the "I wonder how they're doing" will have been answered.

“Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time” ~ Victor Hugo

XO ~KG

Table for 1?

Growing up I had a clear picture of my future.  My milestones were marked by nothing more than age with the most important, marriage, being hit by age 25. Now I was engaged at 21 so I was well on my way to hitting my mark, needless to say that didn't work out but I didn't lose hope.  Of course this changed when I hit 25 and I realized that I was far from where I thought I would be in regards to life AND relationship status.  When my 25th rolled around, I had been dating my then boyfriend for all of a month and half.  Leading up to the birthday I was fine but on the day itself, I was a wreck.  A wreck that my new boyfriend had to see, tears and all.  He being only six months younger, was in the same boat but unlike me, he didn't think his was sinking.  As we sat at Olive Garden that night I made a valiant attempt to enjoy the nice dinner and evening that he had so sweetly planned but in the back of my mind and in a bit of our conversation my disappointment and fear was there, rearing it's ugly head and it had no intention of leaving.  He very sweetly tried to reassure me that 25 wasn't old and that everything was going to work out the way that it was supposed to but I wasn't hearing it.  Happy birthday to me!  My birthday passed and surprisingly he didn't run for the hills.  Instead, he did the complete opposite and we ended up staying together quite awhile.  Of course being together for as long as we were there was the inevitable talk of marriage but despite my birthday induced emotional breakdown not once in our relationship did I feel the need to run to the altar, not because I didn't want to marry him, but because I didn't feel the need to rush it.  This ended up being a great decision since we eventually grew apart and finally split two and half years later.  After that it was single fun time.  I wasn't tied down anymore and I didn't want to be, at least not for awhile.  I had started a new job earlier that year and my focus was no longer on him and us but on me and my life. I'd had what you might call a change of heart, no more like I had found the brake pedal and was slowing my roll to the altar.

Through the years since then I've been to and been apart of many bridal showers, weddings, baby showers and kids birthdays.  I've never been one to get upset or be all woe is me when a friend announces their engagement, and when I get an invitation in the mail for baby shower or child's birthday, I'm not throwing a pity party before heading to their party.  I will admit there's been a few instances, more so in my 20's, that I asked myself when was it going to be me but for the most part I've had a genuine feeling of happiness and excitement for them and their joyous occasions. 

Now being 32 and for the most part single since my 25th birthday boyfriend and I broke up almost 5 years ago, I'm even less in the I need to get married mindset.  I am perfectly fine alone. I have a good job, a nice home and the best friends and family a person could ask for.  This is not to say that I don't want a boyfriend, because I do, I have the online dating accounts to prove it, but I'm not in a rush to settle down with someone that I'd simply be settling for.  I recently read in Cosmo, that marriage has never happened this late or been this infrequent in the history of the country.  The article also said that women are more inclined to wait to get married after they get the rest of their life in order.  This tells me that I am not alone in my unmarried status or in my reasoning for being so.  I realize that most people are already married off or are on their way, I have the memories, photos and invitations to prove it, but there are still people like me that haven't made their way to that place yet.  The statement to each his own comes to mind when thinking about or discussing this topic.  To each his own, well his or her own. 

What it comes down to it being single isn't a bad thing.  Whether you're young and dumb at 21, simply misguided at 25 or finding your own way at 32, there is no right time to settle down. Find yourself before you worry about finding someone else and remember that it's not about the when, it's about the who. 

"We don’t need to rush things, if something’s bound to happen, it will happen…in the RIGHT time with the RIGHT person and with the BEST REASON"~unknown



~KG

Where's the motivation?

To workout or not to workout, that is the question.  The question that I and I'm sure many others, girls AND guys, ask ourselves every day.  We all want to be healthy but do we all want to do what it takes to get and stay that way?  We all want, well most of us want to look good not only in our bikinis in the summer but also our skinny jeans in the winter, but the effort required to do so seems to be more than we're willing to put in.  They say that exercise lowers your stress levels and makes you feel good which should have people running to put on their tennis shoes but the fact is it's not. I mean who doesn't want to be less stressed, and I know we all like things that make us feel good, but it seems that we'd rather take the path of least resistance aka the path of laziness than to partake in a little sweat session.  So instead of driving to the gym and enjoying that natural high that comes from working out, we opt to drive to our chosen fast food joint and enjoy that combo meal that comes with the option to biggie size it.  Good health is a driving force.  Money is an even bigger one, but neither seem to be big enough to push the masses into the gym or even out into nature for any real length of time.  The new years resolution sell a lot of gym memberships and I'm sure that Foot Locker makes a killing when the new year starts but all that is temporary.  What does it take for people to make a true commitment to exercise?  As a person that has over the last maybe 8 years joined and quit the gym 3 times and just recently joined again, I can say that nothing and no one will get you to go except for you.  Starting a habit is just as difficult if not more so than quitting one.  You have to not only want to do it but also need to do it.  For whatever reason, whether it be for physical appearance, a way to kill time or as part of a healthier lifestyle, you have to need to do it.  When I was younger, I did it because I wanted to be thin and cute.  Clearly my want wasn't enough to keep me going.  Now, older and having seen so many around me fight battles with sickness, so many of which could have been prevented, I've decided to do what I can to try and avoid that path.  Although I am trying to become a permanent fixture in my gym, I, at times, do go back to my lazy day habits.  However, I keep the struggles of those I love at the forefront of brain to remind me of why I make the effort.

With all that being said, my suggestion to my fellow couch lovers is to find your reason to get moving.  Find it and then find your way of making it happen.  It doesn't have to be in a gym, mother nature has the ability to kick your butt just as well as the elliptical and it's FREE!  Find the place, make the time, put your shoes on and get moving.  You might not like it at first, I didn't, but give it some time and I think you will. 

"Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going" ~unknown

Hugs and high  fives
~KG

The Musical Touch

Have you ever had one of those days where it seemed like everything was going wrong?  The kind of day that feels like it's never going to end, that nothing can make it better, and nothing does until you're driving home from work and turn on the radio or you're sitting on the bus and you bring up Pandora on your phone and a song comes on.  Maybe it's an old favorite or a new one that after hearing only one verse you already love.  New or old, the moment that your hear it, the beat, the lyrics, the song as a whole, it instantly changes your mood.  That's what music does.  It's a mood changer and just like the words in a book or the lines in a movie, it can change your mood, your day and in some cases your view on the world and your life as a whole.  Music has this incredible ability to not only be heard by the ears but also felt by the heart.  It's a time machine and a time capsule all in one, taking you back to a place that was otherwise buried in your mind, and resurfacing memories that you will forever cherish in your heart.  Music can touch your soul, enliven your spirit and awaken your mind like nothing else in the world and while each song is heard differently, it has the ability to touch us all.  No matter who we are or where our place is in this world we all have at least one thing in common, one thing that we all can share, and that is MUSIC!

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.  ~Berthold Auerbach

Hugs and high fives
~KG

Sometimes I feel like..

....social media is an addiction.  An addiction that it seems everyone has including myself.  I got my first taste of it with the "old school" Facebook aka Myspace.  Myspace was great for keeping in touch with people that you didn't see very often, but even better for getting in touch with those that you thought were gone forever.  I was perfectly happy with my little Myspace page, uploading photos from my most recent vacation, choosing what background I thought would look the cutest and of course the best part, picking what song I wanted playing when someone decided to stop by for a visit. Yes, I was quite content with thispage of mine and then I discovered Facebook.  It didn't take long before I said goodbye to good ole Mypace and became full on committed to Facebook.  How could I not?  Not only could I post pictures but I could share them, them and pretty much anything else I wanted.  Status updates, my song of the moment, a new page that I couldn't get enough of, anything at all.  Facebook wasn't the new Myspace, Facebook was way better and thus began my love affair with Facebook.  The relationship started slow, a status here or there, some pics from the previous weekends activities, an event invite or two.  As time went on, I found myself checking it everyday, then a few times a day and eventually it was what felt like almost constantly.  I had to see what was going on, what people were doing and I wondered if people were doing the same as me.  It was like I was going to miss something, but of course that was not the case. I was simply hooked.  In an effort to take a break from technology or get away from the "drama" I, as many others I know have, deactivated my account.  This of course was temporary and I was back on in days.  Months later I did it again, only this time it was a test to see if I could go without it for awhile.  My second attempt lasted for only two weeks and as I reactivated my account, I told myself that I didn't need it, that I had proven that I could go without it. However, as my news feed popped up in front of me, I knew it was a lie, but I didn't care because I was back!  Since then I have distanced myself a bit but along with my Instagram and now with the worst of them all, Pinterest, it is apart of my daily life.  I've accepted that this is one habit that I am not going to kick and I'm ok with that.  I'm ok with it for two indisputable reasons. One, I know that I am not alone and two, because it makes me happy and that will always be good enough reason for me. 

"There really isn't a big secret to life...just do what makes you happy"~unknown

Hugs and high fives
~KG